The first Rogue Cinema issue of the new year is up and it includes a review by yours truly of When the Levees Broke, Spike Lee’s excellent documentary chronicling the disasters of Katrina and its aftereffects. Check it out now by visiting www.roguecinema.com! Also,the reviews from December’s issue (Love’s Labour’s Lost and Wild Hogs) have been added to the home site. Whoo! A happy new year to all those who love cinema.
Review: When the Levees Broke
Hollywood will not be content until they’ve officially killed the fantasy genre, as we see today in a new entry of Trailers of the Weak. Inkheart and In the Name of the King are bound to be just plain awful, and so I encourage you to laugh derisively at their trailers and read up on my commentary. Not that you have to, mind you. If you’re busy with other matters, then please, feel free to come back later.
Head on over to roguecinema.com for the latest and greatest issue yet! My featured contributions are a couple of dandy reviews, so be sure to check those out along with all the other neat-o features.
Reviews: Love’s Labours Lost and Wild Hogs
Wow. It has been quite some time since I last updated the ol’ CineBomb site, and for that I honestly apologize. As we all know, life is nuts, and so the train slowed to a crawl. Hopefully in the future this can be rectified, and so I start by adding not only the features from August’s issue of RC, but also those from the September issue (which I never advertised, unfortunately). Those September reviews, incidentally, were for Soylent Green and an independent film called The Minx. Hope you enjoy!
Yep, time for a new Trailer of the Weak, folks! Also, the reviews from the July issue of RC (Moonwalker, Justice League of America, and 1408) have been posted on the site, along with some slight alterations to the organization of my past columns and articles. Don’t worry, it shouldn’t be too confusing. So yeah, enjoy, space cadets of the wild frontier!
http://roguecinema.com/
A trio of features penned by yours truly are featured in the latest and greatest issue of Rogue Cinema, so do yourself a favor and check them out along with all the other great reviews, interviews, and articles waiting for your eyes to absorb like little, eye-shaped sponges. That’s right, you heard me. Eye sponges.
Review: Black Christmas
The Actor’s Perspective – Summer Nights: In the latest column I discuss my recent experiences working on two different shows over the course of this summer.
Pedantic Pirates of the Cursory Caribbean: A quick and fun analysis of the last Pirates film, in script form. Hope you enjoy the wacky, cutthroat-based antics.
It’s a two-for-one deal in today’s Trailer of the Weak entry as we dive into the murky cesspool that is this double feature. First, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, the ho-hum adventure sequel starring Nicky Cage, or as I like to call ‘im, Ol’ Glazy Eyes. Then we ponder and then quickly begin to weep upon considering the cinematic train wreck that will surely be Alvin and the Chipmunks. And just when you thought it was safe to enjoy the song ‘Funkytown’, too. Silly, naive fools…
Well, if it wasn’t clear enough that Hollywood is addicted to the idea of yet another sequel, here’s more proof of the pudding. Or, proof for the pudding. You know what, I’m not really familiar with proof-pudding metaphors, so why don’t we dispense with the pontificating and get right to the Trailer of the Weak, shall we? As Chris Tucker would say, “Hell yeah, let’s do it, whitey-cracker-honky-TheMan!” Then I would sigh and take a nap out of pure exhaustion.
If there’s one thing that will make my skin crawl, it’s having to watch pitiful actors in what passes for family entertainment these days. This week’s totally weak trailer provides all of that and so much more, including punches to the groin, copious amounts of vomit, and one wacky kid with a mullet. Because as we all know, mullets are fricky-frack-tack fantastic in terms of comedy. Truly, our culture has hit an all-time low.
The only idea worse than making a movie based on the Bratz toy line is a live-action adaptation of Hungry, Hungry Hippos starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Shia LaBeouf as two mismatched zoo employees in charge of one voracious pod of hypocritical animals. But enough about the ideas I’m trying to pitch to the big wigs in California. It’s time for another Trailer of the Weak! And while we’re on the topic of horrific ideas, check out this poster for the new Alvin & the Chipmunks movie:
http://www.impawards.com/2007/alvin_and_the_chipmunks.html
Have you ever seen anything more soul-crushing? I’m not even a fan of the original cartoon and I understand how damaging this could be to our culture as a planet. The chipmunks are creepy with their clawed feet and need to conceal their what I have to assume are beady, demonic eyes, and the giant, angry Dave head isn’t helping my mood, either. What the hell is wrong with people?!
